DTV Action Movie Heaven……where 80s action heroes are at peace.

And who says DTV is for washed up actors?

I have a confession to make as much as I am a cognisor (some might say snob) of movies and filmmaking, I do have a couple of vices which continue to tighten there; well vice like grip on me. The particular vice in question would be b-grade action movies, more predominantly DTV action epics, I mean there is something that is so cheesy about these low budget pictures that still continue to put a smile on my face. Almost a film version of a comfort blanket if you will, as most of them are ludicrously entertaining both in terms of acting (which is bad) and action (which can be so bad it is actually quite good).

There are several acceptations to the rules of bad action movies, for instance the recent DTV sequel “Universal Soldier: Regeneration” proved that a low budget and a great location can make a taut and brutal action thriller. Ok strictly speaking the aforementioned film (highly recommended by the way) does not actually break any new ground, it does make for an exciting 90+ minutes of mayhem and carnage. By being completely stripped back to basics with the story telling it allows the visuals and action to dictate a flowing narrative.

But for every “Universal Soldier: Regeneration” there are the outlandishly stupid and most inept pieces of action filmmaking known to man (or at least the casual / die hard action fan), and for this one name is on the tip of my very own tongue…..Steven Seagal. For anyone who has ever read “Verns” Seagalology you know what I am talking about, for those that have not let me explain. Seagalology is an actual film theory set up by reviewer “Vern” from “Ain’t it cool News” as a way to add a light hearted theoretical context to Seagals pictures. Which include such choice nuggets as what the title refers to, how badass is his character, improvised weapons used, how many sheets of glass are broken, how many fights happen within a bar? Basically it is breaking down laughable nature of a recent Seagal picture and producing a thoroughly good laugh for fans and curious folk alike. Unashamedly I have always enjoyed a Seagal film (actually any of the 80s action stars) and next to Die Hard, Nico-Above the Law was one of the first films I sneakily watched behind the sofa when my uncle was unaware. Seeing all of that bad acting and bone breaking madness stayed with me and over time slowly accepted that these films where a thoroughly stupid but enjoyable time.

Seagals new "DIY SOS" Themed episode didn't go down too well

SEGALOGY: The Art of Steven

Now any self respecting action fan will know, Seagals best decade was the late 80s to mid 90s when he made films from Hard to Kill all the way through to Under Siege 2, then the DTV era happened and we where blessed (good for bad depending on preference) with Fat-Seagal. But like all good/bad DTV action experiences (and believe me some of his most recent ones really are mind boggling) they were designed for one reason….To sell more beer and for an avid fan (the only time I will use that sentence in a blog) of Seagals trash beer really does help to enhance the already crazy viewing experience, not to mention the fact some of the best drinking games can be derived from viewings with mates.

Now besides Seagal I have recently rediscovered a long lost action star and I know what your thinking, but no…hold it!! Chuck Norris never left my consciousness (come on Hero and the Terror is still a tense, if slightly routine cat and mouse thriller) but another 80s action hero, albeit a slightly minor one who arrived to become a DTV star long before Van Damme, Seagal and Norris. It can only mean one name DOLPH LUNDGREN!! Yes the giant swede has managed to karate kick his way back into my action movie heart with some genuinely well made DTV revenge flicks. Again very little of these films are original, but yet there is still something that makes for compulsive viewing that lately, I just can not get enough of this charming giant.

The film which really caught my attention was his second directorial film The Mechanik (or The Russian Specialist) which makes for a rough and ready revenge flick with a 70s action vibe. It shows that not only does he know how to make an enjoyable action flick, but also shows he is still a compelling screen actor that seems to get better with age. It really is a enjoyable DTV flick and certainly worth checking out along with Missionary Man (another of his directorial features) which brings action filmmaking back to basics and leaves out the quick cut editing which is so prominent (and personally a hindrance) to the genre. It only makes me more excited for “Icarus” or as us Brits are currently calling it Dolph Lundgren is The Killing Machine, when it is released in early august.

The point that I am haphazardly trying to make is that if taken with a pinch of salt, DTV action films can become an entertaining waste of 90 minutes, mostly any of the bad ones. But when you do stumble across those select few which really show potential and are entertaining for all of the right reasons, they only continue to warm the cockles of my heart in such a familiar way that it is hard to ignore and have a wide grin as you unwind for the allotted time. It is like they are bringing back a piece of the past, but with more modern filmmaking techniques and there is one thing I will continue to do which is embracing the downright craziness of a low budget action flick, no matter how my tastes change over the years this will remain like an old friend that happily allows me to revisit to say “having a good time?….well here is a beer to make it even better”.

Now as I walk towards camera with a well timed but oddly placed explosion behind me I have one last thing to say….

DTV action films…..I salute you!

“Now I know what a tv dinner feels like”- Fathers & Sons, Living Free and Dying Hard

Action films, there really are nothing that can beat it for pure unadulterated mindless entertainment, particularly in the form of guilty filmic pleasures. But when you think of the classics of the genre there is always the faint whiff of synthesiser music ringing within your (or most cinephiles) subconscious….Ahhh the 80′s . Then there are the utter genre defining classics you know the ones which really defined a young film fans childhood experiences. These guys are the ones who where often shown films by their father when they are too young, and one such classic which is always on the tongues of film fans (as it is often considered the best of the action genre) is Die Hard.

I remember seeing this (along with several other Seagal films) with my dear old dad at a very young age, call it an amazing piece of parenting but I actually found a film I could bond with my father on. And believe it or not I have recently stumbled onto many other guys my age who remember bonding with their fathers over John Mc’clanes one man army against German terrorists. This is utterly a father and son bonding film as crazy as it sounds and now even more so personally, an important piece of filmmaking within my love of the medium and love of action films (thanks dad!).

But what makes this more prevalent today then when I was younger, well considering my tastes have broadened within film and culturally Die Hard is still an amazing film and by being something I can share with my father while being close to my heart. As soppy and pussyfied as it sounds having the ability to share this with him while downing several cold beers, noshing down on some take-away and uttering nearly every single line ahead of time. This becomes something of a sentimental viewing experience, because not only are you watching the film with your father but finding elements to bond with. Personally my father and I are not massive football fans but we know that if either of us have an issue or problem and have to sort it out a man way, on goes a copy of Die Hard as we drink and laugh forgetting all our worries.

It is as though we have an old friend in the room helping us, comforting us, allowing us to relate to the everyman in an action film, it is always a welcoming and returning friend in times of crisis or boredom. It is also not hard to bond over other elements of Die Hard’s insanity, for instance it does not matter how old or nice you are but the moment you hear Ellis over the walkie talkie it becomes hard to feel sorry for such a bottom feeder while at the same time also produces a perverse tittering laugh between me and my old man when he bites the big one.

It also contains what every fantastic piece of action cinema must have, MASSIVE FUCKING EXPLOSIONS!!! LOUD GUN FIRE!!! (and I don’t care how un-clever it is) BIG FUCKING SWEAR WORDS!!!. Yes the women have the charm of Brucie in his decreasing lack of clothes. But us men / fathers/ sons have a dirty vest which symbolises the down and dirty nature of a lone gun man on his own, bare footed and pissed off. On top of which the fantastic atmospheric by the late great Michael Kamen is a classic, you mention to any male aged between 20-50 and the first thing that pops in their head is likely to be those first few notes….dun dun dun…dundun!!

And the final bonding moment has to be the last two bullets John uses to despatch Hans and his henchman (good name for a band that) in his battered and bloodied state, on his last legs, it is a proper “punch a fist in the air” moment of utter brilliance. It is a film that no matter how old either me or my father become, we are still completely invested within the characters, the situation, the action and the score. This is not just cinematic action gold it is a film experience which bonds fathers and sons on an almost unique level of equality. Differences are put aside, disputes are settled , time passes and beers are drunk, without Die Hard being viewed at an early age, I know film would not be nearly as meaningful or as ingrained into my psyche as it is today.

For that I have more then John Mc Clane to thank, I also have my dads obsession with explosions, bloody gun shots, inventive swear words and over the years a fantastic sound system, to once again feel like we are both experiencing Die Hard for the first time again. So to my dad , thank you for this the ultimate film gift to his son, a film that like many others, holds such a special place between two generations and will continue to for years to come. I shall leave it to Bruce to give his final words….come on!! Join in!!

Is this the Death of the action film?….Wait…Hold it, I can see a Sequel!

Having recently viewed “Gamer” it got me thinking about the current state and lack there of anything genre defining about present action cinema. Now if I were talking about DTV action films which now eventually star the long lost heroes of 80s action cinema (Van Damme, Lundgren, Snipes and Seagal) then formulaic action films still have a home market and subsequently made to order. But it seems as though any big budget films being made within the studio system at the moment seem to be harking back to the 80s heyday such as Sylvester Stallone’s Rambo follow up or the much anticipated “The Expendables”. Barring those particular entries the action genre seems to be on a downhill slide and when anything potentially different or possibly seen as a genre change it seems to be shunned by the public or in the case of most of Neveldine/Taylor’s input it tends to fall apart into a mess of a film. But these films are not without their original moments if a little over the top for some audiences tastes and when compared to the output of other genres such as horror (which itself is not without a fair share of rehashes and dulled down remakes) does seem to redefine itself through experimentation. Something which I wholeheartedly agree is down to the new wave of French horror filmmaking which is trying to break boundaries (both through taste and subject matter) but again this is something which aside from the Crank series and possibly the Bourne films very little of the action genre seems fresh or exciting.

But the action film genre still feels as though it is lagging behind ,granted “Crank” and “Crank 2” is a step in the right direction even though admittedly they are in fact self-referential and parodies of the action genre but is it enough to be considered genre defining? Well it is certainly not short on moments of complete and utter insanity which works for its favour but also partially against it at the same time. For instance the first “Crank” is almost new wave “High Concept” filmmaking, it contains references to 80s platform video games along with the use of projecting footage onto passing objects (an almost inventive use of split screen technology) and colourful slide shows to represent the more technical side of the human body which add a quirky tone to the rest of the film.

“Crank 2” seems to provide off the wall quirkiness and kinetic chase sequences in abundance, but where the first was a little rough around the edges its fresh take on the action film never felt forced. So at times with the sequel (and what seems to be the case with most reoccurring entries) it becomes too much of a good thing. It parodies the use of “Bullet-Time” where now even after all of the pretenders have had their shot, it still seems like old hat. It relies on to much puerile humour when injecting comedy into the mix while the use of a “Godzilla” delusion is personally a step to far, but with the context of the film allows it to partially work although not as successfully as hoped. It is almost as though both Neveline and Taylor have thrown everything but the kitchen sink (but to be honest I do think a kitchen sink appears at some point) in the film hoping that some of the quirky and more surreal moments help to boost it past the extreme excesses that the first “Crank” achieved albeit better its follow on.

The Bourne trilogy seemed to redefine the spy thriller, so to speak with its intense style, use of handheld stedi-cam techniques to heighten the unfolding action with bit editing to keep the thriller fast paced and edge of your seat. And although all three films are indeed great pieces of filmmaking, there is still the feeling of been there done that with the style towards the end of the series. It does truly make me wonder for a series of films to keep pushing the boundaries what lengths could they go to where it feels refreshing, exciting and new.

I truly do miss the days of the original “Lethal Weapon” and “Die Hard” both of which managed to achieve interesting stories, great characters that you rooted for, great scripts and faultless action sequences. It seems as though the action heyday was in fact the late 80s early 90s and with the exception of “The Matrix” which threw in a touch of religious debate and mysticism into the mix, very few action films now seem to provide something truly groundbreaking. The invention of “Bullet-Time” even lead to its eventual over use both in parodies and within the Matrix sequels. It seems as though the action genre realises that once they have a good thing, it is inevitably over used to the point of dullness. What is needed is an action film for the noughties and if ever there was a moment when Shane Black could unleash a new action beast among us it seems as good as anytime. But until that moment comes I will wait with baited breath, feet bloodied with half a smoked cigarette hanging from my lips with a dirtied vest sitting in the corner muttering “Yippie-ki-yay”

Patrick Swayze RIP

At the time of writing this I have just found out (and no doubt the world has also) that Patrick Swayze has just lost his battle with cancer, and this has more then likely spawned a whole cavalcade of remembrances and blog posts about his classic and most remembered films “Ghost” and “Dirty Dancing”. But I thought id take the time to be a little more unconventional and write about what I love about Swayze , because underneath the chick flicks (which still hold up amazingly to this day which doesn’t say much about the recent Hollywood tripe) there lay the heart of a beating action star. Come with me now as I throw you head first into the Swayze’s bar table of action brilliance, forever emulated but never beaten.

Red Dawn:

In 1984 Swayze stared in John Milius (of Conan the Barbarian fame) Red Dawn, based around an alternative reality where the communist ideals have taken root within America due to an economic crisis as a batch of High school teens who are behind enemy lines in the Arapaho national forest (the base of the Russian army) try to counter the home threat, calling themselves the Wolverines (which is the name of their school team).

This is a pretty good film if not defiantly a thought provoking action thriller, it does shy away from killing off its lead characters and asks the question what would you do if your home was invaded. Swayze stars as Jed Eckert who is sort of the unofficial leader of this rag tag band of firepower welding teen army.

Basically this is a more politically charged Rambo-esque  thriller, and the first film to have Swayze and his future Dirty Dancing co-star Jennifer Gray in, there are some great bits in it,  these are 2 of my favourites

Steel Dawn:

Not a sequel to the above film but a post-apocalyptic mad max like action adventure, Swayze is Nomad, a wondering soul in a desolate waste land searching for the killer of his mentor. This is a great action adventure film particularly considering its directed by Missing in Action 2: The Beginning helmer  Lance Hool, there is some great action sequences and if you have ever played Fallout 3, this is basically the film version. I tend to do this on a double bill with Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior both are enjoyable and contain similar elements but there is a certain charm that Swayze carries through the film (got to love the side somersault over an attacker) , check it out if have yet to see it, highly enjoyable and a little underrated.

Road House:

This is where Swayze showed his complete badass side, brutal, unapologetic, bare knuckle mysticism. Here he stars as James Dalton a professional bouncer hired by club owner Frank Tilghman to run The Double Deuce bar in Missouri only problem being that the locals don’t take too kindly to Daltons presence. This is an absolutely brutal gem Swayze oozes testosterone in each scene, while being able to take down men twice his size. This is a classic 80’s action thriller and next to Point Break one of my favourite Swayze films, because I think like his character in Point Break there is a lot more to him, there is not an over reliance for the character to batter people , but focuses more on the spiritual side of himself and the attempt to find an inner peace which separates him from other 80’s action characters.

Point Break:

By far in my all time top 5 film list and certainly in my opinion one of the best action films which is again elevated by Swayzes performance as Bodhi, the surfing Zen master who robs banks with his cohorts as the Ex-Presidents , the FBI’s most wanted.

A truly great action film which shows great relationship between Swayzes Bodhi and Reeves Johnny Utah instead of each being police partners or brothers, but is a bit more spiritual so to speak. Top 5 on my all time list of films full stop long live Bodhi and his spiritual insight into surfing.

“Little hand says its time to rock and roll!!”

Whatever happened to the good ol’ MGM/CANNON action spectaculars

In their heyday MGM we a film company with clout. Owners of the James Bond Film licence with United Artists, as well as films such as the epic The Great Escape, The Pink Panther series and the Battle of Britain not to mention Sergio Leone’s 3 dollars trilogy. But then in the late 70′s and early 80′s something interesting happened, they started churning out cheesy low budget B-Grade action pictures with the film company Cannon along with producers Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus,  , the kind that would satisfy a drunken males Friday nights attention span. But thinking back these films did contain a certain charm (and dare I say it are a little underrated)  but generally fell by the wayside of action films such as Rambo and Terminator because of their simplistic plots or terrible acting. I feel its my duty to get this films more attention, and make the men and women of this society we live in, revel in the first selection of some of the most enjoyable shitfests I have had the pleasure to view during many a drunken night. So sit back and read on lads and ladettes , beer and kebab in hand, ready to view some absolutely forgotten gems of bad action cinema.

I will start with an amazingly funny and cheesy action film from 1985, “Remo : Unarmed and Dangerous” (aka The Adventure Begins). This little ditty was based like Bond on a series of long running spy novels, MGM thought they had another long running series on their hands, unfortunately that was not the case as it didn’t seem to be very well received and not the franchise starter MGM were hoping for. But it does contain some impressive action sequences (what do you expect from director Guy Hamilton, the man who Bond on the map in the 60′s). It has the first (especially in my memory) bullet dodging scene 15+ years before The Matrix and Bulletproof Monk, as well as a climatic fight on the statue of liberty which although dated has to be seen to be believed (and again pre-dating X-Mens final third act by 16 years). This is one film that although has aged it does still retain its boys own adventure which is light-hearted and enjoyable, the training sequences are worth the price of the film alone.

For a Brief period in the mid-to late 80′s Michael Dudikoff released some interestingly cheesy action spectaculars. But his best film in my opinion (and copied almost identically for John Woo’s Hard Target) is “Avenging Force” a brutal but dated long forgotten action classic. There is some fantastic action sequences here, for instance the climactic fight in a rain covered forest between Dudikoff and a masked hunter which by today’s standards doesn’t seem on par with films like Blade or the multitude of films from Hong Kong action cinema, but it still contain likable elements, Dudikoff’s amazingly hammy acting (is that pig I smell) and nearly subpar martial arts skills before Jason Statham could even grunt and do a bad American accent, dated but enjoyable defiantly a drunken guy film if ever I have seen one

Invasion USA is another example of an absolute craptastic (and right wing) slice of 80′s fried gold, Chuck Norris against the Russian communists. Its overblown mindless action, chuck norris style. who needs the American armed forces when you have good ol’ chucky with a rocket launcher and wearing more denim then an 80′s pop video. I mean he blows a man up with a rocket launcher….I’ll repeat that….. .a face off not with guns , not with the power of the mind like a zen monk, and not by sparing his life but with a bloody great big a rocket launcher!! Like only Chuck Norris can… god bless the beardy nut kicker.

TO BE CONTINUED…… this blog will return in “THE REVENGE OF : WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE GOOD OL’ MGM / CANNON ACTION SPECTACULARS”