Well it has been a while (some two months to be exact) since I last blogged or ranted about anything film related. That is not to say I have not been writing, on the contrary I have been writing for a few websites. Finally I have been given a chance to put my love of film into reviews and retrospectives. It also seems that for the first time in months I have finally made it to the local multiplex as I stupidly agreed to watch the latest Fast & Furious film (aka Fast Five aka The Fast & Furious: Rio Heist aka I doubt the PR knows what film they are promoting), which soon after ending it allowed me to come to the conclusion that said film was utter tosh. Admittedly I have no ground to stand on with this argument, as these type of films are produced for the masses and as such appeal to a specific crowd. But I thought its a chance to at least view something mindless for a short time.
Barring the fact that what I witnessed was both too long (the film clocked in at a ridiculously long winded 130 minutes) and that it felt like a sequel to the Italian Job remake, it was in all honesty one of the worst cinema viewing experiences I have ever had.
Now I may sound a bit old fashioned (hell I might even come off as boring) but no matter how bad a film is I would never do one of the several actions which are about to be listed; Burping, farting , rustling sweet bags , talking , texting , running up the aisle , arriving 10 minutes late and blocking the screen and finally shouting to friends on the other side of the auditorium. I have said it once in a blog and once again I mention it, but it seems that British cinema-goers have no concept of cinema etiquette or at the very least respect for fellow audience members. All of which made a particularly boring and uninteresting viewing experience all the trying.
Thankfully I remembered that mature cinema audiences were blessed last year with Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo’s Wittertainment Code of Conduct, which points out all of the reasons why cinema should be enjoyed. So for your viewing pleasure and presented below is the video in question.
Relax, enjoy and take in these wise words you cinema misbehavers. While those that do not do any of the misdemeanors give yourself a pat on the back, turns out you (like myself and many others) respect film for what it is….An art form to enjoy and absorb.